How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
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