The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
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