He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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