How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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