My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
I didn't notice because vodka
We have so much sex to catch up on
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
