the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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