Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
Randomize
