Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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