When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
