Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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