Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Randomize
