the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
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