just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
