I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
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Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
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There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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