My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
