it was like eating out sand paper
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Randomize
