I just made out with a guy for $7.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
