Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
