you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
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