I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
i think i have herpe
just one?
this boner is exhausting
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
