how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
and she was petting her beer can
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
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