But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
i just google imaged poop.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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