I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
