it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
