Where are you?
In a non slutty way
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
