he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Is Oprah even human
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Randomize
