I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
Everything about him screamed your future.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I lost the right to judge tonight
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
