If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
