Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
