pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
