my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Randomize
