that's an acceptable place to lick
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
