Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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