I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
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I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
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The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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