look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
