when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
Randomize
