You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
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