Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Randomize
