I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
