Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
Randomize
