she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
mondays should just be called national damage control day
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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