the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
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