Christians are straight up FREAKS
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize