he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Randomize
