is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
