I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
