i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
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