Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
