Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Randomize