i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
honey bunches of taint.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
