I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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