What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize
