ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
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