Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize
