we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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