I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
