I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Randomize
