Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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